This is the post I keep sitting down to write... I just haven't managed to actually write it yet. Mostly because I just have a lot of questions, and I don't like to not know the answers. I know we are called to serve our neighbors. What higher call could we have than to glorify Him through our service to others? We discussed the story of the Good Samaritan with the youth at church a few weeks ago, and one thing that I noticed as I read the passage was that the rich man asks Jesus who his neighbor is. This is actually the question that leads Jesus to tell the story. The verse in Luke says, "But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, 'And who is my neighbor?'" (That was Luke 10:29, for the record.) He wanted to justify himself... as in, he wanted to make sure he didn't have to go out of his way to love his neighbor? He wanted to make sure that the things he was already doing would suffice?
Here we are, generations later, and none the wiser. We're still asking that same question: who are our neighbors? We know the Bible says we're supposed to love and serve them... but oh, we so don't want to drive all the way to "that" part of town. We don't want to "enable" them. Well, we're clearly not doing what we're supposed to do. And we're not asking who our neighbors are for the right reasons. We don't really want to identify them. We just want to make sure that the people we're comfortable serving do, in fact, qualify as neighbors.
I don't think that there's a wrong way to serve the Lord, as long as you are doing it for His glory. I know people who do amazing things in the name of our Savior. I have a friend who, for the past two years, has organized an entire Christmas--food, presents, necessities--for a single mother with nine kids. And I know she doesn't do this for her own glory. In fact, she will be embarrassed to read this. I know others who truly have a heart for service in third-world countries, and still others who have a gift for serving children. And there are others who have artistic gifts that they give back to God. I don't think there is a "right" or "wrong" group of folks to love and serve. They are all our neighbors.
There are a few things about service that I think we are missing. First, I think we have a tendency to find something we are comfortable doing and then just sticking with that one thing. I say "we" for all of this because I know I am included in this group. Think about it... you broke out of your box one time, tried some new mission trip or service opportunity; you got something out of it and discovered that spending a week living in a non-air-conditioned cabin with 15 other people wasn't so bad, so you just keep doing it again and again. That was pretty much the extent of my missions experiences in high school. But... doesn't this get stale after a while? Is God calling us to keep breaking out of that box and finding new neighbors to serve? This is hard for me, because I know those original neighbors, the ones from that first trip, still need our help. However, are we missing additional opportunities to serve because we're becoming too set in our ways? There is a tendency for these missions to turn into traditions or rituals, and that's a slippery slope. At some point, we become slaves to the ritual itself, and we forget that our task first and foremost is to serve God. That mission trip we love to go on becomes all about the memories--"I remember that one year when we sneaked out of our beds in the middle of the night and duct taped so-and-so to his bed" (I did not actually do this)--and not enough about God. Even if the memories are actually God-related, like singing beloved songs or experiencing a beautiful outdoor worship service on a night thick with fog (I did do this) can we experience spiritual growth if we just keep trying to relive the same moments over and over? How will our relationship with God suffer if we lose that desire to move forward and grow in our faith? I just think that taking a leap of faith--stepping out of our comfort zones and trusting God--is more likely to result in a closer relationship with God than just sticking to what we know and what makes us feel safe. There's nothing wrong with remembering that worship service and how I felt during it; however, trying to recreate it would surely be a letdown, and much less fulfilling than experiencing something new. It's kind of like a liturgy at times: after you say it over and over and over, you sort of stop paying attention to the words. Once it's memorized, your mind is free to think about other things (like who you can duct tape to his or her bed).
Second, we love to go on mission trips because we desire to "get something out of it." While I think it's amazing the way that serving others brings us closer to God, we must remember that we are there to do His work--to be His hands and feet. That is the most important thing. Of course, if you have that mindset and you are truly serving others so that you can serve the Lord, you will get something out of it. But if you go around looking for "God moments" and trying to figure out how being on the trip will benefit you, then you're just not there for the right reasons. Matthew 20:28 says, "Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." I think that is pretty clear, even out of context: Jesus Christ, the Messiah, the Prince of Peace, the Son of God himself, came to earth to serve others.
I struggle with loving and serving my neighbors. I wish I were better at it. I want to be more willing to get out of my box and really, truly, with my whole heart, serve God. The reason I started this blog was to keep myself accountable when it comes to journaling and even just sitting and processing my thoughts. I write about the things that I have trouble with; I'm not trying to point fingers at others. I take comfort in knowing that there are others on the journey with me who may have the same struggles. They might even be the two people who read my blog, which would be so handy! But I want it to be known that I don't think I'm right all the time or that I even have good answers. I'm just a humble servant trying to live my life with a joyful heart and with the intention of glorifying God in all that I do.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Giving... again...
Well, I've been reading that Bible again. And I've been thinking a lot lately about giving and service (and ice cream). I read a verse in Luke that I really like:
"Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you." -Luke 6:38
This verse makes me think of the way I bake. I pack the brown sugar so tightly into the measuring cup that I can barely dump it into the mixing bowl. I pour vanilla extract very liberally, letting it run over the sides of the teaspoon until I basically double the amount required in the recipe. When making my favorite strawberry rhubarb crumble, I get to a point where I just stop measuring the sugar altogether and sprinkle big handfuls of it over the dish (really, rhubarb is better with a lot of sugar). Yes, I know baking is supposed to be an exact science. The ingredients won't work together properly if you don't use the correct amounts. But, for the record, I have never had complaints about my baking. Everything tastes better with extra vanilla!
It also makes me think about the way I eat ice cream. I know a serving of ice cream is half a cup. So I get the half-cup out and start scooping spoonfuls of ice cream into it. Then I start cramming it in. Then I end up creating a little mound on the top of the measuring cup. And I probably eat two or three extra spoonfuls in the process of transferring it into a bowl. In the end, my half-cup of ice cream turns into about a cup and a half. (This is why I don't usually keep ice cream in my freezer.)
So... which bowl of ice cream would you rather have-- the one I "measured" using my half-cup, overflowing with extra peanut butter cups and thick pieces of fudge ribbon? (Yes, I dig around through the container to get all the good stuff.) Or one like what I would have served you when I worked at an ice cream store-- carefully weighed and measured, with nothing in there that you didn't pay for?
I call dibs on the first one.
Isn't that what giving should be like? Giving time, giving money, giving whatever-- when you give to others, when you serve others, you're serving the Lord. Doesn't that make you want to put in the extra vanilla, or dig around through the ice cream carton to find all the best parts for Him? And when you do that-- when you give more, generously, He will do the same for you!
"For with the measure you use, it will be given back to you..."
"Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you." -Luke 6:38
This verse makes me think of the way I bake. I pack the brown sugar so tightly into the measuring cup that I can barely dump it into the mixing bowl. I pour vanilla extract very liberally, letting it run over the sides of the teaspoon until I basically double the amount required in the recipe. When making my favorite strawberry rhubarb crumble, I get to a point where I just stop measuring the sugar altogether and sprinkle big handfuls of it over the dish (really, rhubarb is better with a lot of sugar). Yes, I know baking is supposed to be an exact science. The ingredients won't work together properly if you don't use the correct amounts. But, for the record, I have never had complaints about my baking. Everything tastes better with extra vanilla!
It also makes me think about the way I eat ice cream. I know a serving of ice cream is half a cup. So I get the half-cup out and start scooping spoonfuls of ice cream into it. Then I start cramming it in. Then I end up creating a little mound on the top of the measuring cup. And I probably eat two or three extra spoonfuls in the process of transferring it into a bowl. In the end, my half-cup of ice cream turns into about a cup and a half. (This is why I don't usually keep ice cream in my freezer.)
So... which bowl of ice cream would you rather have-- the one I "measured" using my half-cup, overflowing with extra peanut butter cups and thick pieces of fudge ribbon? (Yes, I dig around through the container to get all the good stuff.) Or one like what I would have served you when I worked at an ice cream store-- carefully weighed and measured, with nothing in there that you didn't pay for?
I call dibs on the first one.
Isn't that what giving should be like? Giving time, giving money, giving whatever-- when you give to others, when you serve others, you're serving the Lord. Doesn't that make you want to put in the extra vanilla, or dig around through the ice cream carton to find all the best parts for Him? And when you do that-- when you give more, generously, He will do the same for you!
"For with the measure you use, it will be given back to you..."
Monday, January 24, 2011
What are friends for?
I have started a couple of posts in the last few days, but I can't seem to focus and figure out where I am headed with them. I'm waiting for the Lord to provide some answers to some half-finished thoughts, I suppose.
I have a confession: I don't spend much time reading my Bible. I wish I had the desire to just sit and turn the pages and let the words pour over me... But I don't. I like to multi-task; I can read a magazine, watch Food Network, and browse Facebook all at the same time. I can cook dinner, put my laundry away, and work on my un-solvable thousand-piece puzzle at the same time. I can sit in a faculty meeting, doodle in my notebook, and text my mom at the same time (not that I ever text during meetings... that was hypothetical, of course...) But reading the Bible... well, that doesn't really lend itself to my frazzled multitasking ways.
My point here was not to talk about what a bad Bible-reader I am; I just wanted to say that I surprised myself the other night by actually sitting down with my study NIV and reading. Something drew me to the passage in Matthew that details Jesus' temptation. I read the account in all four gospels... and I'm still not quite sure what I'm supposed to take away from it, other than Jesus is a pretty cool guy with a lot more willpower than me. Both Jesus and the devil quote Old Testament passages here (the devil kind of takes his out of context, but that's to be expected I guess). I'm still wrestling with this one. But one thing that sticks out is Jesus' response when the devil tempts him with all the kingdoms in the world. Jesus answers simply, "It is written, 'Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only.'"
How easy it is to forget who we are serving! And sometimes, it's just as easy to forget who we should be praising. I say all the time that I am incredibly blessed by the people in my life. I give thanks daily for my supportive family, my inspirational friends (some of whom seem like family), and my coworkers who have become close friends over the years we've worked together. Truly, what a blessing to go to work and get to spend the day with friends! Every day! How many people can say that?! My friends do amazing things for me. They listen to me when I whine; they rejoice with me when I am happy. They offer perspective when I am too stubborn to deal with situations in an unselfish way. They help me through spiritual struggles. I would not be where I am today in my faith if it weren't for my friends. And in return, I rejoice in serving them, listening to them, being there for them.
But... I've been noticing lately that I have a tendency to misdirect my praise when a friend does something to serve me. I have a bad habit of giving the glory to these people instead of giving it to God. Make no mistake, I think I have some pretty amazing people in my life. I love discovering all of the reasons that God has sent someone to me, as well as discovering how I am to serve others. But when it comes down to it, we are called to serve each other in His name. I don't think I'm alone in forgetting this. I love finding ways to help and love and serve my friends and family; but I have to remember that ultimately it is God's will that I serve others, and it is to Him that I should give the glory when someone serves me. When a friend helps me through a rough patch or does something for me, it is easy to praise her for what she did. But really, I should be praising God for sending her to me so that we can serve each other. I don't believe that everything happens for a reason; however, I do believe that God has a plan and many of the people in my life are there intentionally to help Him fulfill his plans for me. Likewise, it is such a joy to think that I am serving others the way God intended for me to do.
Much rambling for a Monday... But my point is that sometimes the still, small voice of God is coming to us through others, and no matter how appreciative we are of those people, He is the one who deserves the praise!
I have a confession: I don't spend much time reading my Bible. I wish I had the desire to just sit and turn the pages and let the words pour over me... But I don't. I like to multi-task; I can read a magazine, watch Food Network, and browse Facebook all at the same time. I can cook dinner, put my laundry away, and work on my un-solvable thousand-piece puzzle at the same time. I can sit in a faculty meeting, doodle in my notebook, and text my mom at the same time (not that I ever text during meetings... that was hypothetical, of course...) But reading the Bible... well, that doesn't really lend itself to my frazzled multitasking ways.
My point here was not to talk about what a bad Bible-reader I am; I just wanted to say that I surprised myself the other night by actually sitting down with my study NIV and reading. Something drew me to the passage in Matthew that details Jesus' temptation. I read the account in all four gospels... and I'm still not quite sure what I'm supposed to take away from it, other than Jesus is a pretty cool guy with a lot more willpower than me. Both Jesus and the devil quote Old Testament passages here (the devil kind of takes his out of context, but that's to be expected I guess). I'm still wrestling with this one. But one thing that sticks out is Jesus' response when the devil tempts him with all the kingdoms in the world. Jesus answers simply, "It is written, 'Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only.'"
How easy it is to forget who we are serving! And sometimes, it's just as easy to forget who we should be praising. I say all the time that I am incredibly blessed by the people in my life. I give thanks daily for my supportive family, my inspirational friends (some of whom seem like family), and my coworkers who have become close friends over the years we've worked together. Truly, what a blessing to go to work and get to spend the day with friends! Every day! How many people can say that?! My friends do amazing things for me. They listen to me when I whine; they rejoice with me when I am happy. They offer perspective when I am too stubborn to deal with situations in an unselfish way. They help me through spiritual struggles. I would not be where I am today in my faith if it weren't for my friends. And in return, I rejoice in serving them, listening to them, being there for them.
But... I've been noticing lately that I have a tendency to misdirect my praise when a friend does something to serve me. I have a bad habit of giving the glory to these people instead of giving it to God. Make no mistake, I think I have some pretty amazing people in my life. I love discovering all of the reasons that God has sent someone to me, as well as discovering how I am to serve others. But when it comes down to it, we are called to serve each other in His name. I don't think I'm alone in forgetting this. I love finding ways to help and love and serve my friends and family; but I have to remember that ultimately it is God's will that I serve others, and it is to Him that I should give the glory when someone serves me. When a friend helps me through a rough patch or does something for me, it is easy to praise her for what she did. But really, I should be praising God for sending her to me so that we can serve each other. I don't believe that everything happens for a reason; however, I do believe that God has a plan and many of the people in my life are there intentionally to help Him fulfill his plans for me. Likewise, it is such a joy to think that I am serving others the way God intended for me to do.
Much rambling for a Monday... But my point is that sometimes the still, small voice of God is coming to us through others, and no matter how appreciative we are of those people, He is the one who deserves the praise!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Just a bit of rambling nostalgia...
One of the joys of being a teacher: SNOW DAYS! We had one today, and I took the opportunity to do some cleaning and puttering around the apartment. I also took the Christmas tree down. I was going to wait another week (I feel like I just decorated it!) but since I had time today, and since I bought some new storage boxes, I decided to seize the day and be productive. Why is undecorating the tree such a sad process? My tree is sort of a "theme tree" (the theme is black and green. and glitter.) and I bought all of the matchy ornaments last year, so it's not like they have a lot of sentimental value. For the record, I do have sentimental ornaments, but they don't match the tree so I hang them on a garland around my bar counter. I suppose that as I pack all the ornaments away and disassemble the tree pieces, I get to wondering where I will be in a year. Will I be in this apartment? Will I put the tree in the same place? Will I be miraculously cured of my tree allergies and finally get to purchase a real tree? (That won't happen.)
This snow day makes me nostalgic for snow days of years past. This is actually some decent snow--good for packing snowballs! Most of the snow days we had when I was in school were more like "possibility of wintry mix days" or, more commonly, "rain days." Very rarely did it actually snow! In elementary school, we had a steep driveway that was great for sledding. In middle school and high school, my best friend lived down the street. No matter how icy (or rainy) it was outside, I knew I could make it to her house on foot; therefore, we spent every snow day together. Her mom always had delicious snacks or fun craft projects; we spent hours playing Super Nintendo (we were Donkey Kong Country champs) and watching all our favorite movies. Even in college, I can remember staying at her dorm one snowy evening watching a Twilight Zone marathon, then finally heading home at around 2:00 in the morning, struggling to see through the snow and scared to death that every shadow was one of the creepy wax figures from the Twilight Zone. We were together every non-snowy day too, but the snowy ones were just more memorable, I guess. Snow days just haven't been as action-packed since our friendship fizzled out (or crashed and burned... but that's a story for another day). I have to admit though that today's lazy, solitary day has been quite nice.
I wasn't sure where this post was headed as I started writing, but now I'm sitting here thinking about those sentimental ornaments. I have a tradition of buying a new ornament every year. Some of those ornaments still hang on my parents' tree, but some of them moved over to my apartment. Some of them came from my grandparents' Christmas tree. Some of them have a story, but there are some that I just like, and I have no idea why. For example, the plastic fan covered in sequins that has been on our tree for as long as I can remember. I have no idea why I like that ornament, but my family members know better than to hang that one up without me. Hanging the fan is my job. (Just like it's my brother's job to hang every Garfield, hockey skate, and snare drum ornament. He may actually have more favorites than I do.)
Then there's the gold and crystal slipper that was a gift from my dear friend's bridesmaids' luncheon last year. That one is new, but I know it will be around for a while, and I love that it will remind me every year of the amazing weekend we had at Disney World last December, when she and her wonderful husband got married. Maybe someday I'll have a daughter, and that slipper will be my daughter's favorite ornament. She won't fully understand the love and the story behind it; to her it will just be a sparkly shoe. Lucky for her, I've managed to collect quite a few shoe-shaped ornaments (people must think I like shoes or something). And it will be a joy to watch her hang them on the tree.
This snow day makes me nostalgic for snow days of years past. This is actually some decent snow--good for packing snowballs! Most of the snow days we had when I was in school were more like "possibility of wintry mix days" or, more commonly, "rain days." Very rarely did it actually snow! In elementary school, we had a steep driveway that was great for sledding. In middle school and high school, my best friend lived down the street. No matter how icy (or rainy) it was outside, I knew I could make it to her house on foot; therefore, we spent every snow day together. Her mom always had delicious snacks or fun craft projects; we spent hours playing Super Nintendo (we were Donkey Kong Country champs) and watching all our favorite movies. Even in college, I can remember staying at her dorm one snowy evening watching a Twilight Zone marathon, then finally heading home at around 2:00 in the morning, struggling to see through the snow and scared to death that every shadow was one of the creepy wax figures from the Twilight Zone. We were together every non-snowy day too, but the snowy ones were just more memorable, I guess. Snow days just haven't been as action-packed since our friendship fizzled out (or crashed and burned... but that's a story for another day). I have to admit though that today's lazy, solitary day has been quite nice.
I wasn't sure where this post was headed as I started writing, but now I'm sitting here thinking about those sentimental ornaments. I have a tradition of buying a new ornament every year. Some of those ornaments still hang on my parents' tree, but some of them moved over to my apartment. Some of them came from my grandparents' Christmas tree. Some of them have a story, but there are some that I just like, and I have no idea why. For example, the plastic fan covered in sequins that has been on our tree for as long as I can remember. I have no idea why I like that ornament, but my family members know better than to hang that one up without me. Hanging the fan is my job. (Just like it's my brother's job to hang every Garfield, hockey skate, and snare drum ornament. He may actually have more favorites than I do.)
Then there's the gold and crystal slipper that was a gift from my dear friend's bridesmaids' luncheon last year. That one is new, but I know it will be around for a while, and I love that it will remind me every year of the amazing weekend we had at Disney World last December, when she and her wonderful husband got married. Maybe someday I'll have a daughter, and that slipper will be my daughter's favorite ornament. She won't fully understand the love and the story behind it; to her it will just be a sparkly shoe. Lucky for her, I've managed to collect quite a few shoe-shaped ornaments (people must think I like shoes or something). And it will be a joy to watch her hang them on the tree.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
On a path of self-destruction...
I love listening to Jack Johnson in my car. He keeps me calm as I navigate the sea of crazy, crazy Memphis drivers. So tonight I was driving home, enjoying his newest album, To The Sea, when the lyrics to one song stuck out to me: "Pictures of people taking pictures of people taking pictures of people taking pictures." (The song is appropriately titled "Pictures of people taking pictures.") It's catchy! I found myself singing along even though I had never heard the song before. It's kind of a funny mental image too, all those people taking pictures of people. Then he went into a verse, which started with "the feedback loop is closing in so tight..." (Stay with me here...)
Isn't it funny how you start to notice themes in the songs you're listening to, or the books you're reading, or the scriptures that you pick up here and there in different sermons and Sunday school lessons? Surely this doesn't only happen to me! Well, the feedback thing caught my attention, and here's why. Yesterday I was sitting at inservice, listening to the head of school talk, and he was showing examples of musicians who were told in school that they had no musical talent (Paul and George, for example). This led him to show us a video of Andrew Bird. I had heard of Andrew before, but I had never seen him in action. I highly recommend getting on YouTube and watching some of his performances. He can play so many different instruments, and he's an insanely good whistler-- he's basically a one-man band. He creates loops by playing a theme on an instrument, recording it, and then playing it over and over while adding and recording more and more parts. I'm sure there's someone out there who can explain that better; I don't have the concentration needed to sit down and actually research things before I type. So anyway, we watched a song and I was blown away. That guy is amazing!
When the song ended, he began an explanation of his next song, which was a study of feedback loops. Feedback is what happens when a microphone gets too close to a source of audio output, like a speaker. The sound goes back and forth between the microphone and the speaker, creating what Andrew called a "path of self-destruction." He went on to talk about how this is true in nature too; for example, when you feed cow brains to cows it results in mad cow disease (gross, I know), or when you breed purebred dogs all the inbreeding can cause all sorts of health problems. Whenever anything gets too close to its source, he said, it results in self-destruction.
My initial thought after watching this video was that humans must be extra-special because that's not true for us! When we get close to our Creator, to our source, it's a good thing! It makes us stronger, better; there's no self-destruction involved in seeking a closer relationship with God. Way to go humans-- we're the exception to this weird rule!
But then I thought about it.
Isn't self-destruction what we should be seeking in our relationship with our "source"? Isn't this what we're supposed to be asking for when we sing "rid me of myself, I belong to you"? When we get closer to God, when we really, truly seek a life that embodies the way He wants us to live, we are no longer ourselves. And that's what He wants! My earthly self is but a vessel, and a temporary one at that; it is my means of living out God's will on earth. It was given to me so that I can be His hands and feet. I'm not saying here that I have achieved self-destruction. I feel like I have just barely started that journey. I have the microphone in my hand and I'm playing around with those interesting and sometimes painful noises that happen when I put the mic too close to the speaker. I'm afraid of what will happen if I get any closer.
I'm reading, I'm praying, I'm chickening out a lot... but I'm holding the mic, I'm moving toward the speaker, and that's a start.
Isn't it funny how you start to notice themes in the songs you're listening to, or the books you're reading, or the scriptures that you pick up here and there in different sermons and Sunday school lessons? Surely this doesn't only happen to me! Well, the feedback thing caught my attention, and here's why. Yesterday I was sitting at inservice, listening to the head of school talk, and he was showing examples of musicians who were told in school that they had no musical talent (Paul and George, for example). This led him to show us a video of Andrew Bird. I had heard of Andrew before, but I had never seen him in action. I highly recommend getting on YouTube and watching some of his performances. He can play so many different instruments, and he's an insanely good whistler-- he's basically a one-man band. He creates loops by playing a theme on an instrument, recording it, and then playing it over and over while adding and recording more and more parts. I'm sure there's someone out there who can explain that better; I don't have the concentration needed to sit down and actually research things before I type. So anyway, we watched a song and I was blown away. That guy is amazing!
When the song ended, he began an explanation of his next song, which was a study of feedback loops. Feedback is what happens when a microphone gets too close to a source of audio output, like a speaker. The sound goes back and forth between the microphone and the speaker, creating what Andrew called a "path of self-destruction." He went on to talk about how this is true in nature too; for example, when you feed cow brains to cows it results in mad cow disease (gross, I know), or when you breed purebred dogs all the inbreeding can cause all sorts of health problems. Whenever anything gets too close to its source, he said, it results in self-destruction.
My initial thought after watching this video was that humans must be extra-special because that's not true for us! When we get close to our Creator, to our source, it's a good thing! It makes us stronger, better; there's no self-destruction involved in seeking a closer relationship with God. Way to go humans-- we're the exception to this weird rule!
But then I thought about it.
Isn't self-destruction what we should be seeking in our relationship with our "source"? Isn't this what we're supposed to be asking for when we sing "rid me of myself, I belong to you"? When we get closer to God, when we really, truly seek a life that embodies the way He wants us to live, we are no longer ourselves. And that's what He wants! My earthly self is but a vessel, and a temporary one at that; it is my means of living out God's will on earth. It was given to me so that I can be His hands and feet. I'm not saying here that I have achieved self-destruction. I feel like I have just barely started that journey. I have the microphone in my hand and I'm playing around with those interesting and sometimes painful noises that happen when I put the mic too close to the speaker. I'm afraid of what will happen if I get any closer.
I'm reading, I'm praying, I'm chickening out a lot... but I'm holding the mic, I'm moving toward the speaker, and that's a start.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Ask and it shall be given...
This was too much of a God moment for me to just let it pass by...
I posted earlier today about how I am seeking something that will motivate me to work out. Just to fill you in on my exercise habits, I will use any excuse in the book to avoid working out. Seriously, anything from dinner plans to "forgetting" to pack a gym bag to (I am not making this up) not wanting to mess up my hair on a good hair day. God has provided me with so many opportunities to make exercise easy-- a free fitness facility at church, a mom who loves to go to Zumba with me, even a friend who teaches Pilates (and who is awesome at it)! And I just turn away from all of those things that He has provided.
So today after work I decided to go up to church and get reacquainted with my favorite treadmill. Even when I'm on the treadmill, I'm always looking for reasons to end early. Today I set the timer for one hour, and I gave myself a little pep talk about actually finishing the whole hour without letting that little ADD devil on my shoulder talk me out of it. Well, fifteen minutes into the workout, I was thirsty. I paused my workout, left my iPhone and earbuds on the machine, ran to the water fountain around the corner, and ran back... only to discover that my machine had been reset. A very nice and well-meaning man with a mental disability who often exercises at the church had taken it upon himself to reset my treadmill when I left the room. How could I be mad (especially since I was listening to Francis Chan's Crazy Love on my iPod)? I jumped back on, restarted my workout, and finished the whole hour. It's just a small thing, I know, but I felt as if God was saying, "You want motivation? I've tried making it easy... now how about a little challenge from me?" I (usually) won't back down from a challenge. If that's what it's going to take, then I welcome those challenges. I'm officially saying, "Bring it on, God!" But along with that, I'm also praying for the ability to recognize a challenge, the strength to tackle it, and the conviction that, in Him, I can do all things.
Praise be to God for the trials and tests He brings into my life, for I know that the testing of my faith produces patience. And in this case, hopefully it will produce the ability to fit into my really cute White House Black Market jeans.
I posted earlier today about how I am seeking something that will motivate me to work out. Just to fill you in on my exercise habits, I will use any excuse in the book to avoid working out. Seriously, anything from dinner plans to "forgetting" to pack a gym bag to (I am not making this up) not wanting to mess up my hair on a good hair day. God has provided me with so many opportunities to make exercise easy-- a free fitness facility at church, a mom who loves to go to Zumba with me, even a friend who teaches Pilates (and who is awesome at it)! And I just turn away from all of those things that He has provided.
So today after work I decided to go up to church and get reacquainted with my favorite treadmill. Even when I'm on the treadmill, I'm always looking for reasons to end early. Today I set the timer for one hour, and I gave myself a little pep talk about actually finishing the whole hour without letting that little ADD devil on my shoulder talk me out of it. Well, fifteen minutes into the workout, I was thirsty. I paused my workout, left my iPhone and earbuds on the machine, ran to the water fountain around the corner, and ran back... only to discover that my machine had been reset. A very nice and well-meaning man with a mental disability who often exercises at the church had taken it upon himself to reset my treadmill when I left the room. How could I be mad (especially since I was listening to Francis Chan's Crazy Love on my iPod)? I jumped back on, restarted my workout, and finished the whole hour. It's just a small thing, I know, but I felt as if God was saying, "You want motivation? I've tried making it easy... now how about a little challenge from me?" I (usually) won't back down from a challenge. If that's what it's going to take, then I welcome those challenges. I'm officially saying, "Bring it on, God!" But along with that, I'm also praying for the ability to recognize a challenge, the strength to tackle it, and the conviction that, in Him, I can do all things.
Praise be to God for the trials and tests He brings into my life, for I know that the testing of my faith produces patience. And in this case, hopefully it will produce the ability to fit into my really cute White House Black Market jeans.
Feels like the same old year to me.
I don't make New Year's resolutions. Why set myself up to fail? There are already so many things I should be doing that I don't do, and I'm racked with guilt about those... I don't need to add anything else to my "you should be doing this" plate. Plus, if I make a resolution, I won't have anything to do for Lent!
I think that in my mind, the new year starts on my birthday. Not that I make birthday resolutions or anything, but January 1 just doesn't do a whole lot to motivate me to try new things.
One thing I resolve every now and then to improve on is exercising. I have not found that one motivating factor that will keep me on the treadmill for longer than 20 minutes (except maybe an episode of Friends, which will keep me on the treadmill for a good 30 minutes). So my focus (ha... one focus of many) right now is finding that motivator. Maybe it's in scripture somewhere; maybe it's hanging on a rack at Macy's (that's highly unlikely, since I won't be able to afford it). Just to be clear, this is not a resolution. It's just a statement of my intent to find something that will motivate me to stick to a routine.
I think that in my mind, the new year starts on my birthday. Not that I make birthday resolutions or anything, but January 1 just doesn't do a whole lot to motivate me to try new things.
One thing I resolve every now and then to improve on is exercising. I have not found that one motivating factor that will keep me on the treadmill for longer than 20 minutes (except maybe an episode of Friends, which will keep me on the treadmill for a good 30 minutes). So my focus (ha... one focus of many) right now is finding that motivator. Maybe it's in scripture somewhere; maybe it's hanging on a rack at Macy's (that's highly unlikely, since I won't be able to afford it). Just to be clear, this is not a resolution. It's just a statement of my intent to find something that will motivate me to stick to a routine.
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