It's not whether you win or lose... except when you lose.

I have been thinking about competition all day today. I wish I could start this whole thing off with a snazzy Bible verse about competition, but I have to admit that I don't know of any. In fact, I just Googled it. I think maybe I'm looking for a verse that says something like, "Thou shalt not care who wins or loses, as long as thou playeth the game." Okay, my Bible doesn't use words like "playeth"-- I got carried away there. Maybe that's the Shakespeare edition.

I did find 2 Timothy 2:5, which says "If anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor's crown unless he competes according to the rules." Never knew that verse was in there! And then there's 1 Corinthians 9:25, which in NIV says "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." I actually like the English Standard Version translation of this verse better: "Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable." These verses make me think of my sweet students, who are just SO competitive with each other! Recess activities are no longer the innocent games of Red Rover that we used to play; you'd think they were competing for the World Series in kickball or something. Perhaps it's time for a devotional centered around these verses.

Surprisingly, my personal issues with competitiveness really don't have anything to do with kickball. Somewhere deep inside me is this need to win everything. For example, I recently bought a purse at a silent auction, not because I really wanted it (although it's cute, and the money went to a good cause), but more because I saw the "I'm going to win" look in the eyes of the teenage girl who was trying to outbid me. Challenge accepted! There was no way I could let her bid more than me! I proudly strolled out of there with the purse on my arm, and it has sat unused in my closet ever since. Pretty sure the moral here is that I should not participate in silent auctions.

I'm not terribly competitive about sports. When I chose to go to college at a non-SEC school, I pretty much signed away my right to be a die-hard football fan here in the south. I'm able to laugh at my alma mater's 26-game losing streak (which, I must point out, was recently broken) and the fact that our mascot, while adorable and non-offensive to all demographics,  is a little goofy-looking. I'm a loyal fan, don't get me wrong, but I am able to accept the fact that we lose most of our games. Basketball season... well, that does tend to bring out the competitor in me. What my college lacks in football skills, they make up for on the basketball court. And since I grew up in Memphis and hold a Master's degree from the U of M, there's no question that I am a Tiger basketball fan. I can't quote stats (or players, really) but I can be competitive about basketball. I remember watching the Memphis/Tennessee game a couple years ago with a friend who was dressed head-to-toe in orange. I could barely talk to him by the time the game was over. I was chaperoning a youth retreat that weekend, and it took all the humility I had to pull myself together and be a good example for the students who were equally as disappointed (and mad at the UT fans) as I was.

Okay, I've managed to bring this back around to my students. How can I, the Queen of Competitive, set a good example for my students and teach them humility? I understand how frustrating it is to disagree about a bad call. Some days it's all I can do to not jump in and argue with them. How do I teach them to show respect by being patient with the student who doesn't know the rules, or by not shouting at their friend who thinks he was safe when he was clearly out? Sure, there's plenty in the Bible about the last being first, and laying down your life for your friends, and doing all things for the glory of God. But when you're six years old and that rubber ball is in your hands, and you're about to tag a kid out at home plate, you're not thinking about God.
Funny, sometimes the same thing happens when you're twenty-seven.

Seriously, people?!

Sometimes I really have a problem with other people. I would be the happiest driver in Memphis if I had the road all to myself. I actually stormed out of DSW on Saturday because all the other shoe shoppers were getting on my nerves. That's a huge deal; I never miss a chance to shop for shoes. And I passed up the opportunity to participate in Race for the Cure because, honestly, the thought of being in a group of 19,000 women just seemed unbearable. I can't stand large crowds. I think I just imagine that every crowd is made up solely of idiots, and I picture myself trying to fight my way through the throng of idiots and eventually being trampled. I know that's irrational. Many crowds are made up of very lovely people. It's just hard to remember that as I picture worst-case crowd-related scenarios.

Actually, as I sit here and ramble on, I keep thinking of additional places where other people get on my last ever-loving nerve. The movie theater. Wouldn't it be great to be the only person in the theater? No one would talk through the previews, or text, or kick my chair, or yell things at the screen, or let their kids run up and down the stairs.

Parking lots. I get SO annoyed with people who go the wrong way down the one-way parking lot aisles. Without fail, I see someone do this every time I go to Kroger.

Live theater. Holy cow, people today have no idea how to act at the theater! The LIVE theater, where real people are acting and deserve the audience's respect! They come in late, they unwrap candies, they talk and text on their phones. I went to a show at the Orpheum a few months ago and totally missed the first five minutes of the show because a group came in late and then there were people sitting in their seats in the row in front of me. No don't worry, folks, I didn't really need to see the opening number. And don't worry, usher talking loudly in the back, I didn't need to hear it either.

Okay I know I sound really whiny and unfriendly. I think I'm a friendly person (deep down). I just think there's some part of me that acts as an idiot-radar, or maybe an idiot-magnet, so that I instantly notice the most annoying things going on around me.

And thus, my reasons for wanting to be more peaceful with the people around me. Because if I don't change soon, I'm going to have to live in solitary confinement.