Seriously, people?!

Sometimes I really have a problem with other people. I would be the happiest driver in Memphis if I had the road all to myself. I actually stormed out of DSW on Saturday because all the other shoe shoppers were getting on my nerves. That's a huge deal; I never miss a chance to shop for shoes. And I passed up the opportunity to participate in Race for the Cure because, honestly, the thought of being in a group of 19,000 women just seemed unbearable. I can't stand large crowds. I think I just imagine that every crowd is made up solely of idiots, and I picture myself trying to fight my way through the throng of idiots and eventually being trampled. I know that's irrational. Many crowds are made up of very lovely people. It's just hard to remember that as I picture worst-case crowd-related scenarios.

Actually, as I sit here and ramble on, I keep thinking of additional places where other people get on my last ever-loving nerve. The movie theater. Wouldn't it be great to be the only person in the theater? No one would talk through the previews, or text, or kick my chair, or yell things at the screen, or let their kids run up and down the stairs.

Parking lots. I get SO annoyed with people who go the wrong way down the one-way parking lot aisles. Without fail, I see someone do this every time I go to Kroger.

Live theater. Holy cow, people today have no idea how to act at the theater! The LIVE theater, where real people are acting and deserve the audience's respect! They come in late, they unwrap candies, they talk and text on their phones. I went to a show at the Orpheum a few months ago and totally missed the first five minutes of the show because a group came in late and then there were people sitting in their seats in the row in front of me. No don't worry, folks, I didn't really need to see the opening number. And don't worry, usher talking loudly in the back, I didn't need to hear it either.

Okay I know I sound really whiny and unfriendly. I think I'm a friendly person (deep down). I just think there's some part of me that acts as an idiot-radar, or maybe an idiot-magnet, so that I instantly notice the most annoying things going on around me.

And thus, my reasons for wanting to be more peaceful with the people around me. Because if I don't change soon, I'm going to have to live in solitary confinement.