I was fortunate last weekend to spend some quality time with a great group of teenage girls. Over dinner, they shared with me their belief that having Christian friends doesn't mean that their conversations and their times spent together always have to be focused on God. Perhaps this comment was made to justify the random ramblings they find themselves in during their small group Bible study. (On a side note, those rambling conversations are always the best, aren't they?) I think it is wonderful that these girls want to spend time together in and outside of church. I think it's great that they have a group of Christian friends with whom they prefer to spend their time. It seems awfully mature for teenagers to come to the realization that fellowship with other believers can be casual and fun.
In the past, I have been guilty of compartmentalizing my friends. In college, I had party friends, church friends, psychology major friends, music department friends, and dorm friends. Those groups didn't really overlap, except for those random times when someone from my abnormal psych class would show up at my friends' Halloween party. Even in high school I had separate church friends and school friends. As I've grown older and settled into my post-college life, I have come to know the joy of having meaningful, Christ-centered friendships. I have close friends at work with whom I can discuss matters of faith. I have close friends at church with whom I can have a good time. And I love when my worlds collide and new friendships are formed.
I agree with the girls I mentioned before--not all time spent with Christian friends has to be spent studying the Bible. But you miss out on some wonderful opportunities for growth if you don't open yourself up to some Christ-centered discussion and reflection. One of the greatest joys of Christian friendship is prayer, and this is not something I've always been comfortable with. As I hinted in the title of this post, I see prayer as a blessing but sometimes a burden as well. I have mentioned before that it has been difficult in the past for me to share my prayer requests with others. That's the "burden" part. I often feel like I am imposing, like I'm asking too much of my friends when I pile my personal prayer requests on top of them. Are my problems too insignificant to warrant asking for prayers? What if my friends are dealing with more serious issues than I am? I don't want to burden them with my problems.
On the other hand, being connected to others through shared prayer is such a blessing. I love praying intentionally, and I like having specific causes and people to lift up. I am so thankful for the opportunity to show my love for my friends by taking on their burdens, by praying for them and their struggles. The truly beautiful moments in Christian friendship occur when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable in front of our friends. God gave us to each other to make the journey... well, I was going to say easier, but I don't think that's the right word. More interesting, maybe. More meaningful. Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." And in Ecclesiastes 4:12: "A cord of three strands is not easily broken." God clearly has plans in mind for us when he gives us to each other in friendship. I'm so thankful for the ways my friends have sharpened me and strengthened me. I'm thankful for the friends who allow me to be raw and broken and vulnerable, and who trust and love me enough to be vulnerable in front of me.
Winnie the Pooh always sums friendship up perfectly. Here are a few gems to wrap this up, because honestly, that bear always says exactly what I'm thinking.
"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."
"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever."
And, of course, the best for last:
"It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like 'What about lunch?'"
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