I love listening to Jack Johnson in my car. He keeps me calm as I navigate the sea of crazy, crazy Memphis drivers. So tonight I was driving home, enjoying his newest album, To The Sea, when the lyrics to one song stuck out to me: "Pictures of people taking pictures of people taking pictures of people taking pictures." (The song is appropriately titled "Pictures of people taking pictures.") It's catchy! I found myself singing along even though I had never heard the song before. It's kind of a funny mental image too, all those people taking pictures of people. Then he went into a verse, which started with "the feedback loop is closing in so tight..." (Stay with me here...)
Isn't it funny how you start to notice themes in the songs you're listening to, or the books you're reading, or the scriptures that you pick up here and there in different sermons and Sunday school lessons? Surely this doesn't only happen to me! Well, the feedback thing caught my attention, and here's why. Yesterday I was sitting at inservice, listening to the head of school talk, and he was showing examples of musicians who were told in school that they had no musical talent (Paul and George, for example). This led him to show us a video of Andrew Bird. I had heard of Andrew before, but I had never seen him in action. I highly recommend getting on YouTube and watching some of his performances. He can play so many different instruments, and he's an insanely good whistler-- he's basically a one-man band. He creates loops by playing a theme on an instrument, recording it, and then playing it over and over while adding and recording more and more parts. I'm sure there's someone out there who can explain that better; I don't have the concentration needed to sit down and actually research things before I type. So anyway, we watched a song and I was blown away. That guy is amazing!
When the song ended, he began an explanation of his next song, which was a study of feedback loops. Feedback is what happens when a microphone gets too close to a source of audio output, like a speaker. The sound goes back and forth between the microphone and the speaker, creating what Andrew called a "path of self-destruction." He went on to talk about how this is true in nature too; for example, when you feed cow brains to cows it results in mad cow disease (gross, I know), or when you breed purebred dogs all the inbreeding can cause all sorts of health problems. Whenever anything gets too close to its source, he said, it results in self-destruction.
My initial thought after watching this video was that humans must be extra-special because that's not true for us! When we get close to our Creator, to our source, it's a good thing! It makes us stronger, better; there's no self-destruction involved in seeking a closer relationship with God. Way to go humans-- we're the exception to this weird rule!
But then I thought about it.
Isn't self-destruction what we should be seeking in our relationship with our "source"? Isn't this what we're supposed to be asking for when we sing "rid me of myself, I belong to you"? When we get closer to God, when we really, truly seek a life that embodies the way He wants us to live, we are no longer ourselves. And that's what He wants! My earthly self is but a vessel, and a temporary one at that; it is my means of living out God's will on earth. It was given to me so that I can be His hands and feet. I'm not saying here that I have achieved self-destruction. I feel like I have just barely started that journey. I have the microphone in my hand and I'm playing around with those interesting and sometimes painful noises that happen when I put the mic too close to the speaker. I'm afraid of what will happen if I get any closer.
I'm reading, I'm praying, I'm chickening out a lot... but I'm holding the mic, I'm moving toward the speaker, and that's a start.
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