The past few days, I've still been thinking about negativity-- more specifically, how to handle negative comments. One thing about me that I don't really love is my quick temper. It really doesn't take much to make me mad (just ask my dad), and I always have to have the last word. Why can't I just let things go?
There's a scene in You've Got Mail, which I watch every time it's on TV, where Meg Ryan's character laments the fact that she can't ever think of the perfect comeback until it's too late. I think this was also a storyline on Seinfeld (pretty sure this is where George came up with, "The jerk store called. They're running out of you!") Anyway, the one time that she manages to come up with an appropriate zinger at just the right time, she feels horrible about it. This never happens to me. I don't have trouble thinking of something to say; I have trouble holding it in. And, of course, when it does slip out, I feel bad about it (sometimes). The combination of my quick temper and my sarcasm, which really is out of control, can get me in trouble. Luckily I can usually explain quickly that I am sarcastic; or that I wasn't trying to be sarcastic but it sounded like I was; or I can do some fast backtalking to get myself out of a foot-in-mouth situation.
The one place where I can't get away with any of that is here on my computer. Electronic communication doesn't allow for sarcasm, or "takebacks." Once it's out there, it's out there. It can be saved, printed, forwarded... it's never forgotten. I think this is a lesson some people could stand to learn, but my purpose here isn't to point fingers at others. I'm thinking about how I respond to unwelcome comments on the internet. In actual face-to-face conversation, I sometimes can't stop myself from getting the last word. That sarcastic word-vomit just comes out of my mouth before I can stop it. But online, on Facebook, to be more specific, I can think about what I say before I type it. And then I can think about what I've typed before I send it. So there's really no excuse for word-vomit comments. Someone recently typed something that I found offensive. It's not the first time this has happened, and I've let it go in the past. I like to think I was doing it to be the better person, but really it was because I couldn't decide which snarky comment I wanted to type. While the end result was good-- I didn't take this person's bait-- I didn't arrive at it in quite the manner that I should have. This time, I want to do the right thing. I don't want to mull over all the possible responses I could make. I don't want to run to my friends and complain. I just want to be at peace with the fact that this person says things that offend me, and I know that responding won't help the situation, so really the best thing to do is just to let it pass. Is that so hard?
I'm looking at Bible verses about dealing with anger right now, and Proverbs is just full of gems: "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." "An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins." Okay, okay, I get it. This is that whole turn-the-other-cheek, pray-for-those-who-persecute-you thing. I know that if I don't say something, these comments will continue. But I'm being called to hold my tongue, to think before I type. So I'm praying that I will get to a point where these comments roll off my back. I'm not there yet, clearly, but hopefully I will be someday.
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